lotusinthemud

the 'if only' syndrome

Go to a party. Listen to the laughter, that brittle-tongues voice that says fun on the surface and fear underneath. Feel the tension, feel the pressure. Nobody really relaxes. They are faking it. Go to a ball game. Watch the fans in the stands. Watch the irrational fit of anger. Watch the uncontrolled frustration bubbling forth that masquerades under the guise of enthusiasm or team spirit. Booing, catcalls and unbridled egotism in the name of team loyalty. Drunkenness, fights in the stands. These are people trying desperately to release tension from within. These are not people who are at peace with themselves. Watch the news on TV. Listen to the lyrics in popular songs. You find the same theme repeated over and over in variations. Jealousy, suffering, discontent, and stress. Life seems to be a perpetual struggle, some enormous effort against staggering odds. And what is our solution to all this dissatisfaction? We get stuck in the if only syndrome.

~ Henepola Gunaratana, Mindfulness in Plain English

something's calling me

I'm sensing slight restlessness. What's going on here? My taste buds are requesting, more urgently now, that I go down to the kitchen. There, in the small fridge, is a chunky jar that sounds like a maraca when I pick it up. Filled with gorgeous cashews that I roasted with a tiny sprinkling of olive oil and liberal dousings of tamari. The darker they are, the more delicious.

there's writing to be done...

There's writing that needs to be done and I keep putting it off. Mainly it's because of the accident in December - although Peter is much better we are both very, very tired - oh, no, this reminds me that I could do with updating 'peter's prang' with a few notes on how he's doing now!

Also i have writing to do for the Amida Ministry team. but every time I sit down with sufficient time to write I find I'm so tired that coherent words don't come easily.

Now I'm tempting myself with a little treat. yesterday, while we were putting in a stationery order for Peter's Beacon Translations, I added a pack of ten A4 squared notepads. I'm not sure why I prefer writing on plain or squared paper rather than lined, but I do. "Less constraining, more scope for creativity" spring to mind. And I have a lovely turquoise chubby 'Cross' ballpoint in my hand.

So the first 3/4 page of the first pad is covered by this nonsense. It's a start. I'm writing. I'll type it up (just as it is). Again, handwriting suits me better than typewriting, at least for first drafts. Let's see where I go from here.

the path of compassion and nonviolence

Most people believe that following the path of compassion and nonviolence is something related to religion. In fact, these are secular ethics and have nothing to do with religion

~ His Holiness the Dalai Lama

violence is a state of mind, an expression of ignorance

We are not innocent children victimized by a big, bad world; if our world is big and bad we made it that way. This is what the Buddha taught. The "other" is a child's boogeyman, the projection of our own fears onto a terrifying object of our imagination, which in turn terrorizes us. Our ignorance is not seeing that we are the other. We cannot afford to confuse innocence with this ignorance. Violence is not a permanent, immutable, fixed object. It is a state of mind, an expression of ignorance, with no more solid substance than a cloud. We cannot make a frontal attack on violence. Even protecting ourselves from it fuels its boogeyman existence. But the Buddha taught that we can change. This was his good news: that there is a way to alleviate suffering by freeing our minds from geed, anger, and ignorance. Yet until we apprehend the ways in which we are Oklahoma City, the bombs and the baby bears, the victims and the violators, we will continue to blame "the," all the while proclaiming our innocence and evading our responsibilities.

~ Helen Tworkov, Tricycle: The Buddhist Review

the trauma of chronic illness: coping

Traditionally, the experience of serious illness has been approached in two ways: (1) a gloomy perspective of resignation, self-denial, and helplessness, or (2) a Pollyanna approach that denies altogether that there has been a real trauma. Both of these perspectives distort and disguise the reality of chronic illness.

The first perspective views the chronically ill person as a failure. This is the patient who does not respond to the "miracle" of modern medicine, and somehow the lack of recovery is often perceived as the patient's fault. This attitude of blame accounts for some of the worst psychological abuses of patients by health practitioners and caretakers, an attitude typified by the too-frequently heard statement, "Stop complaining. You simply must adjust." Unfortunately, the sick person may also adopt this punishing attitude toward himself or herself. Sadly, the word "adjust" too often means "resign," "settle for less than a desirable existence," and "surrender." At its worst, "adjust" is just another way of saying "You are now a nonperson without the right to experience strong passions, desires, or fierce and unyielding hope." All the anger and blame inherent in this attitude is misdirected: the patient rather than the disease becomes the target.

The Pollyanna approach is typified by -- and fueled by -- personal stories or testimonials of complete recovery from extreme illness or disabling conditions. These stories tug at the heartstrings and catch the fancy of all who read them. Besides creating false hope by overplaying the likelihood of complete recovery, these stories consistently underplay the sadness and feelings of worthlessness that are part of the legacy of any physical or emotional trauma.

::continue reading here

people who meditate have a stronger mind-body connection than dancers

...Researchers at the University of California, Berkeley, tracked how closely the emotions of seasoned meditators and professional dancers followed bodily changes such as breathing and heart rates.

They found that dancers who devote enormous time and effort to developing awareness of and precise control over their muscles do not have a stronger mind-body connection than do most other people.

By contrast, veteran practitioners of Vipassana or mindfulness meditation - a technique focused on observing breathing, heartbeat, thoughts and feelings without judgment - showed the closest mind-body bond, according to the study....

::read more here

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we can begin, here and now, to find meaning

According to the wisdom of Buddha, we can actually use our lives to prepare for death. We do not have to wait for the painful death of someone close to us or the shock of terminal illness to force us into looking at our lives. Nor are we condemned to go out empty-handed at death to meet the unknown. We can begin, here and now, to find meaning in our lives. We can make of every moment an opportunity to change and to prepare - wholeheartedly, precisely, and with peace of mind - for death and eternity. In the Buddhist approach, life and death are seen as one whole, where death is the beginning of another chapter of life. Death is a mirror in which the entire meaning of life is reflected.

~ Sogyal Rinpoche, The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying

the experience of true compassion

What is the experience of true compassion? While recognizing mind essence, there’s some sense of being wide awake and free. At the same time, there’s some tenderness that arises without any cause or condition. There is a deep-felt sense of being tender. Not sad in a depressed way, but tender, and somewhat delighted at the same time. There’s a mixture. There’s no sadness for oneself. Nor is there sadness for anyone in particular either. It’s like being saturated with juice, just like an apple is full of juice.

~ Tsoknyi Rinpoche, “Dissolving the Confusion,” Spring 1999 Tricycle