I love reading Toni Bernhard's book, How to Be Sick: A Buddhist-Inspired Guide for the Chronically Ill and their Caregivers
I find it a friendly and reassuring companion when fatigue or pain assert themselves a little too strongly and compromise the activities of the day. I was never as social as Toni but there are still times when I'm on my own for longer than I would like. I do well with my own company but sometimes I can feel shut off, especially if there are family or Amida events that I'd love to be part of but just can't get to.
She writes:
When my health deteriorated and I had to trade the busy life of a university professor for the isolation of my bedroom, the
loneliness was palpable. At times, it was hard to distinguish between the illness and the loneliness.
One day, a friend I'd met online, sent me this quotation from the theologian, Paul Tillich:
"Language...has created the word 'loneliness' to express the pain of being alone. And it has created the world 'solitude' to express the glory of being alone."
I was such a social animal that I found being alone anything but glorious. It wasn't even remotely sweet. But Tillich's words planted a seed and I began to investigate the meaning of "being alone." I realized that being alone in and of itself is neither positive nor negative. It was just a fact that now described a good portion of my life. If Tillich was right, it could be experienced as painful loneliness or as glorious solitude.
So, I went online to see what people treasured about solitude. Here's a sampling of what I found:
"Solitude gets my creative juices flowing. It gives me energy."
"I love solitude because no one is making demands on me."
"When I'm alone, my senses are sharpened and I feel part of the rhythm of the universe.
"Solitude refreshes my spirit."
"I make my wisest decisions when I'm alone."
Continue reading "how to turn loneliness into sweet solitude" »
A tiny blue, yellow and black ball of feathers hops from branch to branch of the rowan tree, before my window
A small miracle, right in front of my eyes - like a special message to tell me that, yes, the time is right for me to start writing. Now I'm snug in bed again, under the duvet with my new notebook and pen, listening to the Cumbrian rain on my roof. Cup of coffee to my elbow to warm my hands on this chilly morning as I start the first of the morning pages. Bodhipaksa said, 'ten minutes, no stopping - write first, evaluate afterwards - if you don't get them in that order you won't write'.
Enclosed by wood - you'd think that wood walls and ceiling would be dark, but it isn't so. The wood has glowing light and life to it. I love this lodge and was totally resistant when the park owners suggested we 'upgrade' to a new one which would look more like a city centre loft flat - all formica and stainless steel!. This is much more simpatico, much more my style.
Continue reading "a miracle flies in to encourage me" »
I had a Facebook conversation this morning in which I explained why I couldn't write....I found myself being quite ridiculous.
It went like this -
Me: Radical Honesty has arrived, also Mary Oliver's A Poetry Handbook. I'll take them away with me. Taking the latter doesn't mean I'll actually write anything. Keep buying beautiful notebooks in order to tempt myself onto paper, only to decide that they are far too beautiful to sully with the mundane drivel I'm likely to produce!
Continue reading "taking the plunge" »
by Toni Bernhard, JD
In the summer of 2001, I was preparing to begin my 19th year on the faculty of U.C. Davis School of Law. Then I got sick with what the doctors thought was an acute viral infection. I have yet to recover.
Being diagnosed with a chronic illness or condition can take a toll on your relationships, partly because all of the affected parties are confused and scrambling to adjust to this drastic and unexpected change in your daily life. It’s a crisis—for you and for those who are close to you.
Here are four tips to help you communicate more skillfully with loved ones when chronic illness becomes an inescapable part of your life.
- Get help from a neutral third party. Often the best way to educate family and close friends about your diagnosis is to use a third party source because it takes the emotional component out of the equation. There are online organizations and associations devoted to every chronic illness or condition. Once you find them, you can forward links or print out pages for loved ones to read. If you have a book about your illness, photocopy the chapters that cover what you’d like your loved ones to know about your new life. (I did this for my close friends, attaching a short explanatory note to two chapters that I copied.)
Continue reading "how to explain to family and friends about chronic illness" »
This is a daily slot for religious reflection and comment, on BBC Radio 4, 'The Today Programme'. Today we heard from Vishvapani of the Triratna Buddhist Order (how nice to have a Buddhist included now and again):
2,600 years ago today a man named Gautama sat down under a spreading fig tree in a forest grove in northern India and closed his eyes. He sat stock-still all night long and in the silence something happened. Buddhists believe he attained a state called Enlightenment or Awakening and henceforth he was known as ‘The Buddha’, which means ‘The One Who has Awakened’. Around the world Buddhists are marking this event today in the Festival of Wesak, the most important date in the Buddhist calendar. We make offerings and reflect on the Buddha’s qualities; but all of us find it hard to say clearly what Awakening really is.
Continue reading "'thought for the day': 17 may 2011" »
