lotusinthemud

the conditions and limits to intimacy

Trust, trustworthiness, seem to be big issues for me.....the giving of one's word. Loyalty. "My word is my bond". While knowing that one is not always trustworthy oneself and that one will sometimes break one's word....either through human frailty or because it's right to change one's mind on occasion.

Dharmavidya writes:

I have been reading "El Camino del Encuentro" by Jorge Bucay. Learning Spanish is opening up for me a new universe of thought and literature which is absolutely wonderful. I am only a third of the way through this book, so I could still change my opinion before the end. Reading in a language not one's own slows one down a bit. Nonetheless, so far, I am finding his approach refreshing and stimulating. You know that feeling that you get when you read a book that says clearly things that one has felt intuitvely for a long time?

Here I'd like to share just one bit of his philosophy. He is looking at the question of intimacy. What does it take to have an intimate relationship? He is not just talking about couples. Intimacy can occur between friends, between family members, even sometimes in work situations, though in the latter case it is going beyond the requirements of the job. Intimacy is that type of relationship in which one can drop one's defenses and be willing to take the risk of being more completely available to the other person and inviting them to reciprocate.

Bucay asserts that there are three necessary conditions for intimacy: love, attraction and trust. He then goes on to point out that none of these are within the range of one's will. I can choose to respect you, but I cannot choose to love you. I cannot choose to find you attractive. I cannot choose to trust you. Either I do find you trustworthy or I don't. Either I do find you attractive or I don't. Either I find you loveable or I don't. There is not much I can do about it from my side.

mankind - in perspective

.....this doesn’t look like much, does it?

Ah, but that picture shows so, so much. It shows everything!

That’s us. You, me, everyone. That fuzzy blob on the left? That’s Earth. The one on the right: the Moon.

In this one simple picture, you can see everywhere humans have ever been; hundreds of thousands of years spent on Earth, and a few brief days on the Moon. And this picture was taken from much farther than anyone has ever traveled.

::link

segovia: reflections on the progress of civilisation

Dharmavidya writes:

Having completed my work in Korea I travelled to Madrid to meet Franca and we stayed with her sister's family. It was my first time in the Spanish capital and I enjoyed seeing the great boulevards and gardens, modern and ancient architecture, and, of course, the Prado, the great art gallery where we viewed the Goyas and a wide range of great art, Spanish and from other European countries.

Spain is currently suffering some economic stress. Some of the lighting and the amount of water used in the famous fountains has been reduced in a visible sign of the relative austerity. Europe is gradually reorganising and doing so at a time of international loss of economic confidence. Very soon they are going to have elections, but one feels that whoever is elected there must be serious limitations upon what it is possible for them to do. Furthermore, elections depend upon the wisdom of the electorate and this is inevitably drawn from past experience which may be a poor guide to what Europe faces in the next few years and the decades to follow. I feel that serious changes are afoot, that such times are perillous, but there is surely, too, a real possibility of a quantum leap forward.