If you wish to grow in spirit, give yourself first to contrition. Do not think of this as a burden, but as liberation. Put yourself in the position of the other and inquire deeply. Then a change of heart may arise naturally and the energy of enlightenment will flow in your veins like the nectar of bitter-sweet tears.
Here is an ancient verse. Please take it to heart:
All the harm committed by meIs due to beginningless greed, hate and delusionAll this is the work of my body, speech and mindI now confess everything wholeheartedlyAnd resolve to begin anew