An issue that's close to my heart. Leonie writes, in her inimitable style
(and I concur with her message - I may have expressed some of it differently, what with my advanced age!):
Gorgeous humans,
Increasingly, I am sharing publicly my pronouns of she/they. What that means: when you refer to me, you can say “she” or “they”. I am comfortable with either.
I want to make some things very clear:
- At some point I may decide to share about my journey of discovering my pronouns. I may not however, and that is absolutely my right. When someone shares their pronouns, you are not entitled to ask why. You aren’t entitled to know their innermost fears, vulnerabilities and sensitivities.
The correct response would be to say “cool, thanks for letting me know.” And then use their pronouns. And if you’re comfortable, you may also wish to say “my pronouns are: (he/she/they/ze etc.)”
Nobody owes you their story, or needs to justify their right to exist and self-identify.
Just as when someone shares their sexual orientation with you, the correct response is “cool beans”, not “but why?” - If you would like to learn more about gender, read a book, take a course or pay a gender activist teacher. I have a bunch of books and resources to refer you to here. If someone is non-binary or gender non-conforming, that does NOT automatically mean they owe you an education.
- I am not here to debate gender identity. I do not debate important human rights issues like this. I don’t give a fuck what 1950’s bullshit you believe, and I don’t need to hear about it. Go read a freakin' book.
- I will not allow my spaces to be a place to debate human rights issues that injure at risk communities. Again: Go read a freakin' book.
- Remember: if you are unsure about how this whole gender identity things work, you don’t need to voice those opinions publicly. Your opinions profoundly hurt and impact people who are already vulnerable and at-risk. The suicide rates of the LGBTQIA+ community are significantly higher than cis straight people because of the prejudice and oppression they face daily. Your uninformed opinion is not more important than another person’s life.
- If you are gender non-conforming, non-binary or trans, I want you to know: I love you. I’m glad you are exactly who you are. We need you on this planet because this way freedom lies. I’ve got your back. And I will fight to protect you like a mama tiger.
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